A How-To Guide for Remote Coachella

Alyssa DePasqua, Staff Writer

Last year, the popular Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival was postponed and then ultimately cancelled because of the continuing pandemic. After the huge outcry from Coachella goers, they’re deciding to do it remotely, since they determined it impossible to go another year without the beloved festival. Youtubers and other Social Media Influencers have even complained to the Coachella organizers, the Anschutz Entertainment Group, about how much it has downgraded their social status. They said they simply could not go any longer without the event, but Coachella goers are finding it hard to prepare themselves to welcome the dessert into their own home. 

 

Though the excitement of possibly running into celebrities won’t be present, there are still ways to make the festival at home very enjoyable. Here are some recommendations on how to make your home indistinguishable from the treasured Empire Polo Club.

  • Hygiene is not invited.

Just because Coachella is coming to your home and there is a shower available, you want to have the most authentic experience. It should feel like you’re actually at Coachella, and this means no proper hygiene is allowed. Instead, bathe in the dirt. Besides, is it really Coachella if you don’t look like a caveman and smell like one too?

  • Bring the outside in.

Open all of your windows up all the way and invite the outside in. Even though your home may have air conditioning, that doesn’t mean you have to use it. The Coachella experience always leaves you sweaty. Embrace it! You may also want to consider growing some grass on your living room floor or filling your home with sand and dirt for a more legitimate experience.

  • Continue to dress/act like a hippie.

Though you are inviting Coachella into your home this year, you should still dress as though you do live in a Hippie van. The headbands, sunglasses, vintage dresses, tye dye, and low cut shorts have all R.S.V.P’d and must attend. It is also essential that you burn incense and skateboard throughout your house during the entirety of the festival. 

  • Scream at the top of your lungs.

It wouldn’t be Coachella if you have a voice the following day. Though Coachella will be on your TV screen and screaming at Tame Impala from your sofa may seem pathetic, it is essential to your virtual experience. Most states have even said that during Coachella weekend, all noise complaints will be ignored by police, which gives you no reason to not scream at the top of your lungs to your favorite songs. I do recommewnd that you stock up on coconut water though, as you’ll need multiple refreshments throughout the day to keep your throat intact. 

  • Only eat foods that “Trader Joe’s” would sell.

Lastly, you’re only allowed to eat foods that would be accepted as products at “Trader Joe’s”. Veggie greens, fake meats, and non-dairy milk are all accepted. Even if you’re not a vegan, you have to be for atleast this weekend, in order to embody the Coachella- . Maybe, make some vegan green smoothies that Ariana Grande would drink, or an acai bowl that definitely has that “Yummy” Justin Beiber would  approve of. Whatever you decide to make, just think to yourself: Could this be in Lennie Kravitz’s meal plan? 

 

These five tips will definitely help you prepare for the first ever remote Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival, while giving you the most authentic experience possible.