Trump’s Head to Be Put On Mount Rushmore

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Photo by LadyDragonFlyCC

Picture Trump’s head on this picture. Just do it.

Philip Randazzo, Staff Writer

The date November 3, 2020, was a victory for some, but it was a tragedy for many. Former (and beloved) President Donald Trump was honorably discharged from his services in January following a tampered and “clustered with fake news” election. As a result of this political disaster, a petition was passed in early March to replace Abraham Lincoln’s spot on Mount Rushmore with Trump’s ginormous head.

“We don’t need Honest Abe’s face plastered on a mountain. He freed the slaves, so what? I gave African Americans millions of jobs, and as I always say, a president has never done so much for the black community like I have,” Trump said during his farewell tour in Mobile, Alabama. 

After the construction start date was announced to be in August 2021, several devoted Americans were proud to see such positive change during today’s climate.

“A moment like this to honor such a prestigious gentleman only comes once in a lifetime,” Kathy Klux Knight, coordinator of the Westboro Baptist Church, said. 

With the Capitol building raid earlier this year and Americans politically and racially divided, the United States is mourning right now over several devastations. That’s why according to Mobile resident Timothy Jenkins, “this could not have come at a better time.”

“Every decade there’s always an event that is impossible to forget. Your life is split into two parts: before and after. For example, the day before JFK’s assassination and the day after JFK’s assassination,” Jenkins said. “For Generation Z, their event happened as soon as Pennsylvania turned blue… the 2020 election.”

Despite various voices from all generations approving President Biden’s role as president thus far, conservatives are still questioning whether or not he is fit for such an elite position in government.

“If Gen Z feels hopeful for their future’ then they got another thing coming,” Jenkins said.

According to Fox News, Trump’s daughter Ivanka Trump will be running for office in 2024 alongside her father in their new campaign, “Make America Insane Again.” In addition to this announcement, Ivanka will be launching a new skincare line titled Ivanka Licious. When it comes to future scandals the duo will inevitably face due to their lack of care for human life, Trump refuses to back down. 

“If someone doesn’t like my daughter and I running then their opinion is trash — put them next to Hillary’s emails,” Trump said.

Note: Former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton declined Insight’s request to comment.