On picture day in seventh grade, I vividly remember sneaking into my older sister’s room, smudging grey eyeshadow onto my lids and smearing gloss on my lips as stealthily as possible. Makeup wasn’t forbidden in my house but it wasn’t something highly praised for a young girl, either. While the sneaking around might have been half the fun at the time, the act of setting aside some time and doing something for myself made me really fall in love with makeup. Over the years I have dropped the mascara heist procedures and practiced a little more precision in my application but the minutes of decompressing in front of a mirror have remained a constant.

Putting makeup on has always been relaxing to me and while I recognize it’s not as crucial as actually putting on pants, it is a vital component of my morning routine. The sacred regimen of making myself up allows for some “me” time where I can mentally prepare for my day ahead. These precious minutes have become so valuable to me that it’s not even about makeup anymore.

As a high school junior, my life is filled to the brim with homework, jobs, and activities that can get hectic to the point of combustion. But those minutes in the morning help me center myself and plan for the day ahead. I realize where my priorities are and I know that the perfect cat eye is not a number one necessity, but even just a few minutes of winding down with some mascara makes a major difference in my mental stability.

Not only does my psyche benefit from some makeup, my self esteem does as well. I don’t wear makeup as a mask; I don’t wear it for some boy I’m trying to impress– I wear it simply for my own benefit. I simply feel better when I have some sense of security and makeup acts as that for me. Instead of being consciously aware of a zit and being paranoid that everyone is glaring at the crater on my chin, a touch of concealer can put me at ease and allow me to focus on what is important.

In my early years of high school I felt compelled to wear makeup because I thought that if I didn’t, everyone would notice. I would stand out as naked faced with imperfections and I would be a freshman troll. The anxiety of seeing everyone with no makeup on was so fierce that I would sacrifice 15 minutes everyday to get up and put on a full of face makeup. Not only do I regret missing those possible hours of sleep, I deeply regret using makeup as a crutch in those early years. Instead of finding other ways to sooth my anxiety, I latched onto makeup to hide myself. While that was my initial reason to start wearing makeup, my reasoning now has totally changed. I simply enjoy it. It’s an expression of how I am feeling and it has allowed me to recognize makeup application as a true art form.

Makeup should not be a method of obstruction to hide insecurities and to perpetuate a cycle of self-deprecation. It should be a way to recognize and express beauty for each individual, if they even choose to wear it. Makeup should not be a required ritual forced onto young girls to enter womanhood; it should be an optional outlet of expression to help boost and stabilize self esteem instead of shattering ones self image. Girls who wear makeup are not better than those who don’t and vice versa. If you like wearing makeup, good for you. If you don’t, that’s perfectly acceptable and doesn’t make you any less of a girl than someone who does.

My makeup time in the morning is about me. I can relax with some foundation and envision my day. I am not hiding. I am not trying to impress anyone. My makeup is entirely about me. Set aside some time for yourself, either with a makeup brush or without, but recognize that some minutes to appreciate yourself are necessary.