Conspiracy Theories 101

The truth behind the truth?

By Hannah Fay, Staff Writer

If you were to believe everything you read on the internet, you might insist that the 1969 moon landing was faked, that the CIA was responsible for John F. Kennedy’s assassination, that Paul McCartney died and was replaced by an imposter, that the 9/11 attacks were an inside job, or even that President Obama is anything from a lizard creature to an antichrist (yes, there are actually 50-minute-plus videos on YouTube dedicated to proving, beyond a shade of doubt, that Obama is in fact the devil incarnated).

If you’re like me, you might fail to see how someone could speak about something as fanciful as oxygen being poisonous in the same demeanor they’d use to let you know Great Aunt Mabel died.

Barnstable junior and long-time conspiracy theory enthusiast Lindsay Lewis reminds us that “you never know,” (touché, Lindsay, touché). She’s spent time researching a wide range of conspiratorial topics to verify their accuracy, despite her assertion that “the amount of people that believe me is the same as the amount of time Neil Armstrong spent on the moon–zero.”

The more rational among us, myself included, might see the fun in conspiracies, but not the truth.

Sarah Carlon, another junior, enjoys spending her valuable free time exploring the “Paul-McCartney-is-dead-and-has-been-replaced-by-a-lookalike” theory. “I don’t think it’s true personally, but I think it’s interesting to look at,” said Carlon, remarking on her faux-conspirator status. “It’s kind of a pastime, but it also has a scare factor.”

According to the New York Times, conspiracy theories “wouldn’t exist in a world in which real conspiracies don’t exist,” and that they contribute to “feelings of having agency” in their proponents. In a day and age where horrific occurrences are routine, conspiracy theories can provide a distraction and a perhaps much-needed feeling of reassurance in being able to understand the un-understandable. Apply this to the halls you walk every day (not even Barnstable High School’s own staff is immune to conspiracy theories). A smattering of students, Lewis included, believe that math teacher David Brown is secretly a government spy.

To this, Brown only said “It is what it is.”

Is it possible that Lewis and other students just need to feel in control of their math grades, and use this narrative to distract from the terrors of calculus? Or, is Brown actually a gadget-wielding James Bond?

All jokes aside, at the end of the day it’s important to separate fact from fiction, and to not allow a fixation on falsities to detract from respect for grief and grievance. When taken too seriously, as in cases of the validity of 9/11 and the Sandy Hook tragedy, a seemingly innocent joke or comment can show some serious disrespect to the victims and their families. 

I, for one, agree with Mr. Brown: it is what it is. Like it or not, bad things happen, and not everything is a plot by the government to do harm to the common good.

Besides, I’m fairly certain that somewhere out there a very-much-alive Paul McCartney is getting pretty fed up about all of this.